coldplay_LEAD_FINAL

Coldplay continue to slowly U2 on A Head Full of Dreams. However, they also continue to predictably dabble in light plagiarism and all the latest Top 40 fads, so they are able to retain more relevance than their Irish forebears, despite how clunky and out-of-character these fad performances come out. In addition to an omnipresent ‘dream’ centerpiece, the their seventh effort here is meant as a more positive uptick after the previous record’s Gwyneth-breakup feel. It’s hard to find anything even that deep in here, but let’s go for it.

A Head Full of Dreams

Out the title-track gate, the boys get their dance groove on. They seem to be aiming once again for “dream[y],” MDMA-pop, a road they’ve been down many a time since X&Y. As such, they know what they’re doing, but also don’t have too much juice left. The “oh-whoa” bridge’s melody borrows heavily from the similar part in that “Livin’ Out the Back of a Car” FIFA 16 song:

A Head Full of Dreams

Birds

Martin continues his ‘free as a bird’ theme from Mylo Xyloto’s “Up With the Birds” on a double-time sort of garage-rock/doo-wop beat a la “Happy,” then caps it off with an abrupt ending. It doesn’t offend, despite its predictability, but it also doesn’t excite. It even overstays its welcome a bit. Vanilla milquetoast: ‘tis the British way:

Birds

Hymn for the Weekend

It’s Beyonce on the guest spot, but for some reason it seemed like a quite convincing impersonator at first. There’s some unique percussion going on too, which is cool. The good old ‘your love is a drug’ shtick is here, but it’s still interesting to see Martin and co. try something outside their wheelhouse. Regardless, he sounds a little awkward going on about “feeling drunk and high” with Bey:

Hymn for the Weekend

Everglow

Country-tinged piano ballad, some pseudo soulful “heys” in the background. It sounds like a Christian Adult Contemporary reject, really. Of course it’s easy to tear it down from a computer keyboard, but it really is pretty cheesy. Almost 20 years as a band (12 or so as an international economy) will do that. As for whatever Martin’s going on about, it doesn’t matter, it’s all just white noise:

Everglow

Adventure of a Lifetime

Just in case you forgot the album’s “dream” theme, Martin makes damn sure to hammer it home in almost every stanza. In the eternal words of Dave Grohl, “white people dance to lyrics,” and they don’t get whiter than this. So, while there’s not too much “dreaminess” here from a sonic perspective, every word commands you to blissfully slumber:

AdventureOfALifetime

Fun‘ (feat. Tove Lo)

Like the tracks before it, this bittersweet reminiscing breakup track is also cheesy, but in a way that reignites that guilty-pleasure spark from the the mid-2000s. Then the chorus pushes it over the edge to somewhere between N64 soundtrack b-side and on-hold music. You’re right, though, Martin: it all wasn’t “a waste,” and we did “have fun” once, but usually wouldn’t admit it to our friends:

Fun

Kaleidoscope

An interlude breaks up the AC marathon, starting with a withered classical-piano sample, then onto a real-time more typical Coldplay piano instrumental with a profound-ish speech atop. We finish with another sample, this time of Obama singing “Amazing Grace,” the latter being its definite peak. Overall, the effect is like that of a Fallout or Bioshock soundtrack. Not bad:

kaleidoscope

Army of One

Aaand we’re back to regularly scheduled programming. Coldplay does their best rendition of the R&B pop-vocal sample stab trend over (and I can’t believe I’m doing to say this) what feels like a rock-ified Owl City imitation track. Also, the ‘you’re the eighth wonder of the world’ motif is less romantic than it is the dopiest sensitive-white-guy pickup line ever:

Army of One

Amazing Day

Woooof. More of the whole “there’s a galaxy in your eyes” tripe that even world’s-sexiest-man David Beckham couldn’t pull off if he was single and hitting on girls at a bar. Have these lines worked for anyone over the age of 12? Also, how much desperation for lazy rhyme does it take to use the phrase “I just wanna sway” to cap a stanza?:

Amazing Day

Colour Spectrum

We get another little snippet of Rumi’s previously read poem:

Colour Spectrum

Up & Up

There’s a little bit of country (in that guitar effect thing). There’s a little bit of rock and roll (although depending on your definition, there probably isn’t really). There’s also a little bit of various other pop bells and whistles, all hinting at the ideas “why are we not excellent to each other?” a la “Where is the Love?.” They draw this guy out for nearly seven minutes:

Up & Up

‘X Marks the Spot’

This is a hidden track. It’s Coldplay doing trap. There’s so many problems with this, it’s hard to know where to start. Mostly, though, it’s got to be not only one of the worst trends to hop, and most ill-fitting for the group, but it’s also the most awkwardly compatible with the message:

X Marks the Spot