Bruno Mars‘ third studio album 24K Magic is a feeble attempt at interpreting ’80s pop. Normally he thrives in these situations with a touch that has made him something of a golden-boy. Unfortunately he doesn’t invest the time or effort to understand an era that birthed those who he is most influenced by, the detachment creating a phoniness that makes it easy to ignore.
The problem in a word is: homework. Instead of studying the sound, he takes the coward’s way out, which turns the whole album into a novelty. Lyrically he tries to inject some modern ideas, but it only clashes with the mood, melding about as well as oil and water. Lucky for him it tops out at nine songs, which means he can at least squeeze a single or two of it without having to explain why it didn’t pop like previous efforts.
‘24K Magic‘
Pulling a little bit from Michael, a little bit from Marvin and a whole lot from JT. He’s centering the party around a few simple lyrics, ones that don’t distinguish him from any other clown out there. He’s drowning the song in a torrent of ’80s cliches, an explosion of plastic parts and featureless melodies. The energy is there, but it lacks tenacity and spirit; simulated soul at its worst:
‘Chunky‘
Throughout the first few moments it’s unclear whether this is a world renowned pop star singing or a gangly teenager looking to get to second base for the first time. His eager beaver ways ripple from one end of the pool to the other leaving behind a soiled feeling that’s not easy to overlook. The beat is substandard, which places this near the bottom alongside other unwanted album fillers:
‘Perm‘
The pageantry continues with a pathetic and altogether childish display of mimicry, a cross between Pharell and Robin Thicke. He’s doing cartwheels and while it may come from a so-called genuine place, it lacks the authenticity to resonate across the pop spectrum like he wants it to. The goal is to get the body moving, but the lyrics are so comatose that it makes it virtually impossible:
‘That’s What I Like‘
Singsong rap that sounds more like Sesame street than it does Bourbon street. The beat is devoid of personality, the lack of bass amplifying the empty and underutilized space. It wants to be a banger, but without a proper launching pad his flimsy voice and careless writing can’t hold up. Crispy clean sounds, but not enough around the edges to make it memorable. A dismal effort with no feeling:
‘Versace on the Floor‘
Indulging in ’80s ephemera yet again, and shamelessly pawning it off as his own. He’s attempting to combine classic flavors with modern vibes, but is so out of touch with both that the end product is left limp. Lyrically it’s pop soul 101, an exploration of standard equations and bland imagery. With no rousing ambition or fire to ignite the soul, all we’re left with is a glorified lullaby:
‘Straight Up and Down‘
Out of sync with the season, he’s standing alone on a virtual island. It’s jovial and spring-like in nature, but totally removed from the current climate. It’s so shortsighted that it alters the lyrical direction, which doesn’t congeal in the way it should on a proper full length. The winter months ask for depth and romance, he’s still in Cancun wondering when the next party bus will roll through:
‘Calling All My Lovelies‘
Copying this style only works if you’ve never heard of Zapp. Otherwise it’s a feeble attempt at duplicating a sound that is miles beyond his skill level. He’s having trouble reconciling the two genres, specifically the lyrics to the beat. It’s a novelty to him, and his interpretation is shallow, the work of an amateur. He simply doesn’t make the commitment to make it pop with authenticity:
‘Finesse‘
The whole theme sounds as if it was inspired by a dig through his old man’s record collection. It’s Bell Biv Devoe meets Montell Jordan, filtered through the perspective of a doofus. He’s desperately trying to engage in some grown man soul, but makes a wrong turn at every crossroad. Unable to suppress his ego he applies the same predictable blueprint that can be found all throughout his catalog:
‘Too Good to Say Goodbye‘
The title sounds like a long lost Boyz II Men song, which isn’t a good thing at all in terms of creative ingenuity. As soon as that freeze dried synth hits the ears it’s like high school all over again, a sappy and nostalgic journey that does little for the soul. Thematically it works against the frat house vibe, creating a tasteless tension between mindless debauchery and baseless romance:
