by The Arrogant Worms on album Idiot Road

All towns have a place Where decent drivers are not safe Where traffic law is touch and go Where the posted limit does not bind And half the drivers seem to blind And the other half is stupi

by Arrogant Worms on album Torpid

She had beautiful eyes, two of them A nose on her face and arms of equal length She walked pretty well and had most of her teeth That a girl like her could like me was beyond belief So we went o

by The Arrogant Worms on album Gift Wrapped

Billy solve his problems with by calling up his mom Heather solves her problems with drugs and alcohol Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law But Malcolm's got his own way, it's better t

by The Arrogant Worms on album Live Bait

Billy solve his problems with by calling up his mom Heather solves her problems with drugs and alcohol Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law But Malcolm's got his own way, it's better t

by The Arrogant Worms on album Three Worms and an Orchestra

Listen up brothers and sisters come hear my desperate tale i speak of our friends of nature trapped in the dirt like ajail vegetables live in oppression, served on our tables each night this killing o

by Arrogant Worms on album C'est Cheese

One, two, three, four... Wouldn't it be great if everybody had a gun? Wouldn't it be great if everybody had a gun? There'd be no more crime, 'cause everybody'd have a gun! Wouldn't it be great if eve

by Arrogant Worms on album C'est Cheese

*spoken intro* From the deepest, darkest depths of... WHITBY! Comes this sordid tale of speed... Murderous mayhem. Cataclysmic combustion... Picturesque powered pistons... Accellerating automotive ala

by Arrogant Worms on album C'est Cheese

Scott became famous for freezing to death in Antarctica. Columbus made history thinking some island was India. General Custer's a national hero for not knowing when to run. All these men are famous, a

by Arrogant Worms on album C'est Cheese

I once was a happy man of sound and stable mind, Then my neighbor bought a dog. He put a ribbon on it's head to make it cute, But it still looked like a Chihuahua. He had me over to watch it sit and b

by Arrogant Worms on album Beige

I'm not talking about an idiot, a moron, a fool or ignoramus, dunderhead, halfwit, simp or tool He's got charm and an appeal you can't deny he's just your everyday dumb guy dumb guys don't have much

by Arrogant Worms on album Beige

he struts and he swaggers, he's pretty sure that chicks dig a guy in uniform grey flannel pants and wine covered jacket the smirk on his face makes you just wanna smack it couldn't be a real cop witho

by Arrogant Worms on album Beige

I'm a real guy I like real guy things Like boats and guns and onion rings But household chores need a power resolution I went to the store and purchased the solution I got a pressure washer I like it

by Arrogant Worms on album Idiot Road

Oh my darling I sure loved that meal Though I could still taste the pig squeal Now I'm weak and losing focus I think you gave me trichinosis Trichinosis is little worms that dig And burrow through yo

by Arrogant Worms on album Idiot Road

All towns have a place Where decent drivers are not safe Where traffic law is touch and go Where the posted limit does not bind And half the drivers seem to blind And the other half is stupid, whoa, w

by Arrogant Worms on album Christmas Turkey

There won't be any presents this Christmas No goodies in your stocking The milk and cookies that the children left out Will be left untouched beside the sink The reindeer will be staying in their pen

by Arrogant Worms on album Christmas Turkey

Ohhhh... Santa's coming and he's gonna kick your ass He's gonna kick your ass He's gonna kick your ass Santa's coming and he's gonna kick your ass 'Cause you've always been a rotten little brat Reind

by Arrogant Worms on album Dirt!

Can't think of anything to sing about, not much out there to sing about, The world's okay, The weather's fine, no need to sing about that, so i'll sing about. . . Sponges! Sponges yeah! Sponges! Spon

by Arrogant Worms on album Dirt!

Baby I wanna tell you all my hopes and dreams and fears But I'm watching television, could you get me another beer There's wrestling and pro football on, I hope you understand I must watch it all for

by Arrogant Worms on album Live Bait (Live)

Billy solve his problems with by calling up his mom Heather solves her problems with drugs and alcohol Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law But Malcolm's got his own way, it's better t

by Arrogant Worms on album Live Bait (Live)

Me work Hard five days a week, sweeping garbage from the street. Come home not one book to read, not 'nuff pictures for me see. Sit right down in favorite chair, wearing only underwear. Favorite night