Wierd Al Yankovic
Miscellaneous
Amish Paradise
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain, I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain. But that's just perfect for an Amish like me, you know, I shun fancy things like electricity. At 4:30 in the morning I'm milking cows, Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool, and I've been milking and plowing so long that even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone. I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline, got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin. But if i finish all of my chores, and you finish thine, then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
We've been spendin' most our lives livin' in an Amish Paradise.
I churned butter once or twice livin' in an Amish Paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice livin' in an Amish Paradise
We sell quilts at discount price livin' in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week, i just smiled at him, and i turned the other cheek! I really don't care, in fact i wish him well, cause i'll be laughin my head off when he' burnin in heck, but i ain't never punched a tourist, even if he deserved it, an Amish with a 'tude? You know, that's unheard of. I never wear buttons, but i got a cool hat, and my homies agree i really look good in black, fool. If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears, we haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years. But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare. We're just technologically impaired.
There's no phone, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury. Like Robinson Caruso, it's as primitive as can be.
We've been spendin most our lives livin in an Amish paradise, We're just plain and simple guys livin in an Amish paradise, There's no time for sin and vice livin in an Amish paradise, we don't fight we all play nice livin in an Amish paradise
Hitchin' up the buggy,
Churnin' lots of butter,
[ Wierd Al Yankovic Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ] raise a barn on Monday,
soon i'll raise another!
Think you're really righteous?
Think you're pure at heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art!
I'm the pias guy the little Amlets wanna be like
On my knees, day and night, scorin' points for the afterlife!
So don't be vain.
And don't be whiney!
Or else, my brother, i might have to get Medieval on your hiney!
We've been spendin' most our lives livin' in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights livin in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites livin in an Amish paradise!
(Amish villiagers singing in choir)
Yuck!
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