Steve Goodman - This Hotel Room Lyrics

This hotel room gotta lotta stuff
A laundry bag and a shoe shine cloth
Thirty two hangers and a touch tone phone
With a light that goes on when I ain't home

I ain't home, I ain't home
You better leave a message
'Cause I ain't home

They got an air conditioner for when I'm hot
A radiator for when I'm not
Two big chairs sittin' side by side
With a Holy Bible and a TV Guide

TV guide, TV guide
Great God Almighty
It's a TV Guide

They gotta second story view from curb to curb
A sign that says, 'Please, don't disturb'
A monogrammed towel and a bucket of ice
A chest of drawers and a mirror that lies

A mirror that lies, a mirror that lies
That can't be me and it's a mirror that lies

They got a room service menu for food and drink
A porcelain throne and aluminum sink
Two big pillows to rest my head
Magic Fingers on a king-size bed

Put in the quarter, turn out the light
Magic Fingers makes me feel alright
Uh, feel alright, feel alright

Magic Fingers makes you feel alright
Feel alright, feel alright
Magic Fingers makes you feel alright

This hotel here's all right with me
And they pay the postage if you lose the key
This hotel room got a lot of stuff
But I believe I've had enough

I called my baby, said, "Don't you pout
I'm packin' my bags and I'm checkin' out
Just as soon as you hang up at the telephone
Stick a candle in the window, I'm comin' home"

I'm comin' home, comin' home
Stick a candle in the window
I'm comin' home

Comin' home, comin' home
Stick a candle in the window
I'm comin' home