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The Burrito Files
Hey! Hey, my name is Burrito! Hey! What the hell? I don't have a
body! What happened to me? I have no body! I'm wearing a fucking bike
helmet! My nose is taped to my face! What the hell? What is this?
Hey! Who the hell are you? What the are you doing here? Stop staring
at me. Stop it, you fucking freak! You fucking cock-sucker. What the
fuck is your problem? Stop looking at me! Go away, fuck-head.
When I had a body, I used to lick my balls. They were hairy. Hey! I
used to live in Quina Vacahs. My ass will always be in Quina Vacahs,
but my feet, I don't know where the fuck my feet are because I don't
have a body. What happened to my body?
Hey baby! Want to lick my face? I don't have a dick, but you want to
lick my face? It tastes like a dick.
Hey cock-sucker! What the fuck are you doing? Hey! Don't touch my
face, bitch! I'll fucking kick your ass, oh wait, I'll bite your nose
I used to be a pimp, when I had a body. All the bitches would jump on
my cock. Then one day, I got hit by a car, it fucking broke my nose.
My mother was a fat jackass. I used to ride her to town, fucking bitch.
When I had a body, I used to have sex with dogs.
Who the fuck are you? You look like a fucking Mary Anet fuck head!
Hey you know what? I fucked Monica Lewinsky. Me and the president, we
got it on, bitch! You know, have you ever been into the Lincoln
Bedroom? It's fucking awesome! There's cum stains all over the bed.
Hey! Do you have a cat? I used to have a cat. I fucked it up the ass.
One day, I was doing my cat, and it got stuck! It ripped my to shreds!
Maybe that is what happened to my body? I've been in a fucking coma for
twenty years, and I wake up and I don't have a body! What the.
Hey! Hey! Scratch my chin. It itches! Go ahead, scratch it, I'm not
going to bite you. Oh yeah, that's it! OHHH-HO-HOH.
OHHHHH-HOOOOOO-HOE-HO-HO-HO. Hey! Sorry about that. The strap fucking
chafes me. The strap chafes me chin, man.
Once I had a goose. But we ate it for dinner. I kept its bunghole,
though. I still have it, where ever my fucking body is!
Hey! Hey! You over there! Come scratch my chin, man!
Hey--Hey--Hey--Hey, guess what? You know you touch my face, I got
poison ivy bitch! I got hemorrhoids on my fucking face. How do you
I was raped in the mouth by Billy.
Hey! Have you ever since a cow do it? It's fucking sick. It looks
like two amebas getting it on.
Hey, you know what? I saw my sister screwing a cat once. It's fucking