will.i.amIt seems unfathomable now that at one point the band whose last lead single was a trance-pop cover version of the Dirty Dancing theme were being touted as the natural successors to De La Soul and A Tribe Called Quest. Having abandoned all traces of their socially-conscious old-school hip-hop in favour of trashy ‘fun in the club’ anthems that would even shame LMFAO, most thought The Black Eyed Peas couldn’t sink any lower. However frontman will.i.am has done his utmost best to prove otherwise with a creatively bankrupt fourth solo record, #willpower, which apart from a few beginners guides to the ghetto, appears to deliberately act as moronic as is humanly possible. Here’s a look at five of its most crass lyrics.

Geekin’

will.i.amThe first artist to have a song beamed on the surface of Mars, a director of creative innovation and an inventor of iPhone camera enhancer, Will uses the snake-charming hip-hop of “Geekin’” to boast endlessly about the ‘digital real estate’ he owns whilst simultaneously attempting to unite every billionaire nerd who was taunted at high school for their brain power. Instead, his two-fingered salute to anyone feeling the strain of the economic crisis, which actually includes the official Intel jingle, is more likely to leave you rooting for the bullies: [LISTEN]

Hey, I roll with gangsta geeks
We’re white cold like Dr Dre been making Beats
He made it out that got billion uses in a week
We bought a boat, four hundred eighty feet
I’m so dope, baby, I’m a shit geek
But ladies know, that’s why they send me tweet tweets

Fall Down

http://www.songlyrics.com/will-i-am-lyrics/This Ke$ha rip-off is one of the more musically palatable offerings, if only for the fact that it’s devoid of any headache-inducing squeaky synths and that it at least contains some semblance of a melody. But Miley Cyrus’ guest appearance means its lyrics are far more questionable. Indeed, there’s something rather creepy about a 38-year-old man roping in a former Disney star who wasn’t even born when he first started hooking up with the likes of Eazy-E to belt out a series of crude additive-based metaphors for a certain kind of lip service:

On the bottom, on the top, baby, lemme flip you up 
You can be my soda pop, Coca Cola sip it up
Whip cream, whip it up, strip on, zip it up
I could be your chip, you can be my dip, lemme dip it up 

Freshy

will.i.amAfter aligning himself with the Steve Jobs of this world, will now fancies himself as a Huggy Bear-type figure in another tacky glorification of materialism that occasionally borders on the misogynistic. But after revealing himself to be quite a surprisingly charming presence on The Voice UK, his new-found pimp persona isn’t fooling anyone. Perhaps the most blatant sign that like Pitbull, will knows his music is utter garbage but that as long as the money keeps rolling in, he doesn’t give two hoots: [LISTEN]

She loves lot of cash
Going broke ain’t an option
If I want it imma have it
Hundred K, that’s nothing
Everybody talking money

Scream and Shout

will.i.amDespite its chart-topping success around the world, Spears’ reprisal of her ‘It’s Britney, bitch’ line is the only remotely enjoyable aspect of this robotic novelty which sounds more like an extended ring-tone than a genuine piece of pop music. Its celebration of all things hedonistic might not be particularly offensive. But with such an uninspired bunch of rhymes, its clichéd club-themed call-to-arms is perhaps the most obvious example of the album’s total and utter disdain for anything remotely intelligent: [LISTEN]

Going fast, we ain`t going slow,no,no
Hey yo,hear the beat and let`s hit the floor
Drink it up and drink some more
Light it up and let`s let it blow, blow, blow
Hey yo, rock it out, rock it now, if you know what were talking about

#thatPower

will.i.amSeemingly unaware that arrogance and production line songs are just two of the reasons why they have accrued so many ‘haters,’ will and everyone’s favourite monkey-smuggling, paparazzi-scrapping, inappropriate Anne Frank Museum guestbook-scrawling teen idol join forces to claim that they don’t care about such jealousy because of a) their much bigger bank balances and b) their worldwide success on another brainless synth-pop ‘anthem’ that was probably knocked out in less than five minutes: [LISTEN]

I beat it through my mama
I told her what I was on it
That imma be that number
One day I’ll be that number 1
I take it higher and high and high and higher
I stay and buy attire
Keeping burning like that fire