Never miss an opportunity to sling a good Pope joke – from Italians, too. The music community is full of great people, as we’re reminded again here in another edition of the week’s best lyric videos. Stop-motion, window graffiti, some token old photographs, the cleverer and cleverer artists get. Note: the Pope’s funny hat does not get funnier with the word ‘coward’ splayed over it.

Alkaline Trio – ‘The Torture Doctor‘ 

A metaphor for something in the closet, be it sadistic or holistic, the neon pink punk text works well over the B-Movie grain of this new torturous pop-thrasher from Alkaline’s ninth forthcoming effort, My Shame is True (April 2) despite The Lumineers hey, hos:

Hey, ho we know how this story goes
The plot it thickens and grows
Hey, ho there’s nothing left to hide
Down here on the south side

Justin Bieber – ‘Right Here

In a land where speakers and type make sweet, stop-motion love in full concrete jungle fever, comes this video that doesn’t feature Justin Bieber’s stupid duck face. Nor Drake‘s. For this we are grateful. But still, this is why the Computer Gods created the mute button. Now if only, we could dress these lyrics less lame:

‘Cause I’m right here
Ain’t nobody gotta hold ya
‘Cause I’m right here
Ain’t nobody gonna control ya

Brad Paisley – ‘Southern Comfort Zone

Braid Paisley’s cornfed ode to his Tennessee homeland is almost racist with cheese. But through the Nascar, truck-driving, choir-lulled thick of it, combined with pictures of all these fan submitted lyric bits, it’s pretty damn heartland warming, ain’t gonna lie:

Not everybody drives a truck, not everybody drinks sweet tea
Not everybody owns a gun, wears a ball cap, boots and jeans
Not everybody goes to church, or watches every Nascar race
Not everybody knows the words to ‘Ring of Fire’ or ‘Amazing Grace’

Yes I Swear – ‘Paradise Falls’ 

Leave it to aspiring Italian metal-heads – “shitty songs for shitty people since 2009” –  to claim they know everything about anything. Just in time for the selection of Pope Ratzinger’s successor, we give you “empty words from empty heads.” It’s kind of like a seventh-grader took some anger to a history book. A group of seventh-graders, actually, all with perfect penmanship, in this twisted Pope and catholicism hate joke:

You are the coward
And you are the plague
We know everything about you
And it’s all starting to get old

J. Cole – ‘Power Trip‘ 

Hip-hop protégée J. Cole opens up about his “longest crush ever” on this sophomore centerpiece on forthcoming Born Sinner (June 2013). How this track is going to match his ambitions of using his “voice to shift culture” is a bit of a naive, young love head-scratcher. But dreamers’ve gotta dream. And the night-ride car window messages are a nice touch:

Had a thing for ya
Even wrote the song dreams for ya
‘Cause I had dreams for ya
Thoughts of a ring for ya
Childish shit
You know, child and shit