Ah, the lyric video, the God of the mondegreen, sorcerer of fonts, deliverer of messages, and so and so forth glorifying its moment here in the music world as a right of promo passage. If you’re an artist these days, indie or arena behemoth, you’ve likely dipped a toe into the new YouTube trade, pairing your most beloved verses with their visual counterparts. Sometimes they’re absurdly cheesy, a la Katy Perry‘s gem over there on the left, and sometimes they’re genius, a la The Stone‘s latest Ralph Steadman-esque ink-splatering assault. But they’re always entertaining. Therefore, we here at SONGLYRICS will be gathering the week’s best fails and wins in a series of five plugs. Know the words, yes, and now ->; watch them as they glow upon your eyeballs:

Foxtrot Alpha Tango – ‘Are You Fat?’

Why this video only has 187 views as of press time is beyond us. This hand globule thing with eyes is a million times cooler than that damn Quiznos freak thing that infected consumers’ brains while asking a very important lyric question of the world. Problem is it answers itself – we’re all fat, it’s true. And this dude “Victor” likes “whiskey.” Apparently the band – DJs, rather – hail from Sydney, and just pushed this funk freak house gem upon the world a mere five days ago. You’ve been warned. Also, their bio is simply amazing while including the word ‘groove ooze’:”

Sheryl Crow – ‘Woman in the White House

Though it’s promoting more of a “Mom-In-Chief” than a commander, Sheryl Crow’s cheeky-timed, stop-motion heel kick of a pop country tune is rightly clever, mincing faux “Sheryl Crow News” tickers to sling verses across the screen, that segue into protest sign messages. Fun little narrative there. Although, you have to be willing to stomach a one-dimensial political shot like “there’d be a lot more loving and listening and getting along.” So, yeah, women, that’s your ticket – love:

DarkSun – ‘I.O.D.’

Not to be confused the the Spanish power metal crew of the same name, this orange country crew of throat-gnar cites Pantera, Sepultura, Slayer and “lots of other shit” as their influences. It shows. Also what shows is there hatred for an “industry of deceit,” in which they thoroughly plead their case for its destruction. Or rather they “dominate your collapsing system!” Rawrrr. We wouldn’t believe them if not for the images of blades and bloody cow skulls:

Kids Without Instruments – ‘Don’t Let Go’

Many questions here – why is gravity inverted for these poor kids? Why must they destroy those books? Why do they just take it from this inverted gravity world? Whatever the case, there is an Ellie Gouldling-esque pop howler throwing lyrics into the mix, as well, encouraging them to not “let go.” So everything is right with the world, we suppose:

Infekta – ‘Mentiras’

We can’t decide on what’s better – the fact that these Salvador, Brazil hearts sling riff rawk like they’re trying to play Weezer on guitar hero, or the fact that they blatently aped The Breakfast Club dance moment from Karla DeVito and slathered their “Mentiras,” all over it. “Mentiras” means lies in English. So double-entendre fun there. And the lo-fi on-screen lyric flings are surprisingly credit-esque. So touché, Infekta, touché. We’re so going to Netflix The Breakfast Club right now, regardless.