Madonna marches straight into #13 on the Billboard Hot 100 this week with “Give Me All Your Luvin’“. Having spent the last four years filing for divorce, launching fashion lines and directing feature films, this track finally marks the return of the Queen of Pop to her day-job.
For a woman in her mid-fifties, it’s hard to not cringe at Madonna, who is still heavily relying on an auto-tune drastically set to “tween.” But once you get past the superficial sheen and ultimate lack of artistic statement that is “Give Me All Your Luvin’” (and believe me, for a self-confessed hipster music blogger, that is hard for me to do), you gotta put your hands up and admit it is a pretty spot-on embodiment of bubblegum pop. With its disco synth lines and cheerleader loops of “L! U! V! Madonna! Y! O! U! You wanna!” (courtesy of Nicki Minaj and M.I.A) – it certainly succeeds in sticking to the neural pathways for a day or two.
The song revolves around pop’s standard buzz topic – love – with Madge measuring up a potential partner/secret schmuck: “Would you like to try?/Give me a reason why/Give me all that you got/Maybe you’ll do fine/As long as you don’t lie to me/And pretend to be what you’re not.” Still, for someone repeatedly asking us to “Give me all your love and give me your love/Give me all your love today,” y’think she would croon with a little more conviction.
Kudos to Madonna for agreeing to share the stage with the younger (and let’s face it, hotter) Minaj and M.I.A. Thing is, rather than come across as the pair’s legendary precursor, MDNA is instead rendered obsolete next to Minaj’s ditsy delivery (“I’m Roman, I’m a barbarian, Im Conan/You were sleeping on me you were dozin’“) and M.I.A’s swagger daggers (“Supersonic bionic, uranium hit/So I break ‘em off tricks/Lets pray that it sticks/I’ma say this once, yeah I don’t give a shit”).
Politics aside, “Give Me All Your Luvin’” makes for a fun throwaway four minutes. But considering Nicki Minaj and M.I.A manage to eclipse her in their two teeny verses, is it time for Madonna to move on from these candy floss commodities and leave it up to her hellah more exciting contemporaries? Let us know your thoughts, below!