Flo Rida ascends the Billboard Hot 100 this week with “Whistle,” a song which is, in short, a lesson in fellatio. A shoddy lesson it should be said. After all, Rida’s ‘instructions’ comically counteract the cheap euphemism (uh, put your lips “together,” you say?):

Girl I’m gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

As the song title suggests, Rida does stagger his way on to the whistle bandwagon – albeit a year too late. But if said sonic gimmick is not yet enough to make you want to deflect your eardrums, well get a load of Rida’s encircling raps:

Show me your perfect pitch,
You got it my banjo
Talented with your lips, like you blew out candles

Clearly, Rida is more concerned with scoring a corny half-rhyme than he is with making any actual sense (seriously, WTF is that “candles” line all about?). And with no indie chick or sacrilegious sample to hide behind, Rida’s artistic incompetence is finally exposed for all to see in this latest mega-fail from Wild Ones.