Introducing ‘Rhyme nor Reason’ – a SONGLYRICS’ look at lyricists that make us want to jam a pencil in our brain. Or as a man named Shakespeare once wrote: ‘Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season/When in the why and the wherefore is neither rhyme nor reason?’


There are an infinite number of reasons not to like Avril Lavigne – she’s moody, undecided and as bland as yogurt. But a racist? That’s stretching it. Her latest blunderHello Kitty” has been lampooned for its somewhat – not really – culturally insensitive video. And while there is a justifiable claim, more than anything it’s just a poor display of artistry, a once bright pop star who’s tripped and fallen on her face for the hundredth time.

The Hello Kitty phenomenon is widely known, as part of Japanese and Kawaii culture as Micky Mouse is to America. But it’s target audience is what makes the pairing of that theme and these lyrics foul, the innuendo standing in plain sight: [LISTEN]

"Hello Kitty"

Awkward and absentminded, this is not unfamiliar territory for Avril. Her canned image is that of a young adolescent who refuses to grow up rebelling against first world problems like curfew and how much makeup is too much. As a young starlet that flew, it was her backbone and it spoke to a pretty sizable fanbase. But now, 12 years after her debut, she’s still inexplicably stuck in Wonderland.

While she’s trying to figure out what Peter Pan Syndrome is, artists like Pink and Katy Perry are zipping right past her. They’re redefining the pop princess role while she’s releasing songs like “Here’s to Never Growing Up:” [LISTEN]

"Here's to Never Growing Up"

Goodbye Lullaby was her chance to turn things around. It definitely was corny, but afforded her some wiggle room as far as her image goes. Had she stayed on that track she’d be free to maneuver rather than have to adhere to some strict, formulaic policy.

Young pop starlets take notice: these fake images don’t equate to longevity. If you’re not a rabble-rousing anarchist don’t pretend to be one, ’cause that’s a type of funk you just can’t fake. “Rock and Roll” for example. It glazes over righteousness with uninspired, lame duck lyrics: [LISTEN]

"Rock and Roll"

The truth is Avirl is not a racist. Not in the way that Donald Sterling is a racist,  at least. So for all the publications that are overreacting there’s a place for you in this article, too. In fact, on paper Avril seems like a pretty decent human being, involving herself with numerous charities. She’s just confused, ignorant and a little, surprise, naive.

The irony is that if you take a closer look the joke is not so much on Japan as it is on Avril. They’re throwing her pop nonsense right back in her face Dikembe Mutombo-style, and she seemingly has no clue as to what’s going on. She doesn’t realize that no matter how you dress it up it’s all the same. McDonald’s in Japan is still McDonald’s. Confused Avril in Japan is still confused Avril.

Furthermore getting your dorky husband to chime in with some hokey dubstep is just too much for one song to contain. Enough is enough. Hang it up, take a breather and come to your senses. Regroup before you stick your foot in your mouth again because there’s still hope. If you feel the need to speak, stop, look intently in the mirror and repeat the words to your own lyrics:

"Hello Kitty"