Credit: n/aLong before the manic rock diva was snubbing Rock Hall of Fame bids and chastising fans for his own pathetic non-ending grudge with one of the greatest guitarists of all time – who the hell bans t-shirts? – the man behind what’s passing for Guns N’ Roses these days, Axl Rose, was planting the seeds of his sorry rock dictatorship. It was on this day in 1991 that the world caught its first glimpse, the hip-swaying shrieker stopping GNR’s performance of crunchy Appetite for Destruction rawk porn, “Rocket Queen,” to lunge into the Riverport Amphitheater near St. Louis to stop a dude/fan from taking pictures of the show.

Of course a post-hair metal riot broke out when Axl assaulted said fan, and hustled back to the stage to slam the mic down with the set’s last words: “Well, thanks to the lame ass security, I’m going home.” Thing is, we want him to be vindicated, we do. If only the rock world had a sane Axl. But for now, we have this amazing song spawned from an infatuation with an L.A. scenester, that along with the “Riverport Riot” is just about as perfect an allegory could be for the dictator in training out there:

If I say I don’t need anyone
I can say these things to you
‘Cause I can turn on anyone
Just like I’ve turned on you
I’ve got a tongue like a razor
A sweet switchblade knife
And I can do you favors
But then you’ll do whatever I like