Almost making Guns N’ Roses‘ work-rate appear prolific, Aerosmith’s 15th studio album, Music From Another Dimension!, has reportedly been in production since 2006. But thanks to a series of distractions ranging from on-stage injuries to stints in rehab to an unexpected foray into TV talent shows, not to mention constant bouts of in-fighting which nearly ended in Steven Tyler’s departure, their first batch of entirely new material in 11 years is only now seeing the light of day. Perhaps keen to preserve its ’70s time-capsule feel, very little of this backstage soap opera is alluded to on a record that’s once again preoccupied with the theme of ‘good sweet lovin’. Here’s a look at five sets of lyrics which best dodge their never-ending issues:


Responsible for their string of classic ’70s records, producer Jack Douglas wastes no time in making his mark with an eerie Vincent Price-esque spoken word intro, which could easily double up as the entrance theme to the band’s Hollywood Studios rollercoaster. But after Tyler briefly threatens to burst into a Kurt Cobain impersonation with a repetitive ‘Hello!’ refrain, it’s business as usual with everyone’s second favourite rubber-lipped frontman insisting that all the world’s problems can be solved simply with a bit of bedroom action three times a day: [LISTEN]

Now is the time to submit quietly
We control all you hear and feel
You are about to enter a great adventure
And experience the odd and mystery
From your ultimate fantasies, to your deepest fears
From which you may never return


Borrowing the same Clash riff as One Direction’s recent single, “Beautiful” is co-written by Marti Frederiksen, the man who Tyler claims ‘can take a fart and make it a chorus.’ Thankfully, there’s a distinct lack of bodily function noises here, but some less forgiving listeners may argue that such a thing would be preferable to the stodgy blues-rock and ‘spread your wings’ metaphors served up instead. Tyler has revealed the song is what he imagines rock n’ roll to be like in 20 years. If this turns out to be the case, expect rock n’ roll to flatline somewhere around 2032: [LISTEN]

Now I get to thinkin’ ’bout the high speed dirty deeds 
What I want, what you need 
I think you best believe it 
Got it, want you here, 
But you still gotta know 
We can skin it, we conceal it 

Legendary Child

Intended to appear on the soundtrack to the upcoming G.I. Joe sequel, this cut-and-shut outtake from the Get A Grip sessions possesses the kind of swagger you’d expect from such a real American hero, even if it’s instantly forgettable from the moment Perry’s final three-chord rock riff stops reverberating around the bar-room. But there’s fun to be had with Tyler’s fast-paced rap delivery, which recalls the carefree days before the band became coke-addled hell-raisers. Although you probably have to be on drugs to decipher its array of gibberish proverbs: [LISTEN]

I took a chance at the high school dance

Never knowing wrong from right

And that same show forty years ago being televised tonight

Cause every thought inside my head to the Taj Mahal

I went from never havin none to want to have it all 

Freedom Fighter

An Aerosmith track with some lyrical substance? An extremely rare detour into the world of politics, Joe Perry gets to prove that not all the band are randy old men with a well-meaning if slightly ‘human rights for beginners’ ode to the reporters and photographers who helped to publicise the heinous crimes of Ugandan warlord Joseph Kony. A pointless cameo from Johnny Depp, who doesn’t seem to have got the memo that he’s never going to be a rock star, can’t distract from Perry’s impressive impassioned vocal that’s reminiscent of Neil Young at his most grizzly: [LISTEN]

And I’m a freedom fighter

And I ain’t lyin’

Ain’t no truth in your smile

Ain’t no truth in your eyes

Street Jesus

The track which sounds most likely to have been dug up from the 40-year-old vaults, “Street Jesus” is a no-frills ‘pedal to the metal’ hard rock anthem which should appease old-school fans disheartened by the appearance of Diane Warren and American Idol contestants elsewhere. Its production may be no-nonsense, but its chaotic breakneck speed-sung lyrics are anything but as Tyler waffles on slightly incomprehensibly about a man he saw wandering downtown L.A. dressed as Jesus Christ. The latter probably made more sense: [LISTEN]

Good God Almighty, s’posed to be about love
You must’ve wished upon me by kissing the glove
I’m a high-stepping lover, sharp as a knife
I’m a pink flamingo on a great long life
A wise man, poor man, beggar man too
You bet your bottom dollar but whatcha gonna do?