It's a typical day in the universe
Another MC spits a puny verse
I try to get through my day without sayin' a curse
Because I curse too much and such and such
I try to improve my vocabulary
I try to cut out eatin' meat and dairy
I wanna bring back the days of the tooth fairy
â€~Cause I lost my innocence
I'm young and dumb and old and wise at the same time
â€~Cause I know Jesus was a rock star
And it was Elvis who turned water into wine
I wanna save a kangaroo from a life in a zoo
I wanna own a llama, I want less drama in my life
I think I really wanna be a happy housewife
I got 28 butts in the ashtray
I gotta pace myself, I'm smokin' like a chimney
Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied
I know you wouldn't put it past me
I really know how to party, reminisce about the day
When I was swiggin' my Bacardi
28 butts in the ashtray because it's just me
Keepin' myself company
I think back all the days I was smokin' carawhack
It was really kinda like an addiction, non fiction
Just readin' my days and nights away
I used to pray to a funny little fat man
â€~Til I found out he was Santa Clause
â€~Cause Saint Nick never brought shit
And there I go cursin' again
I'm my only friend and I'm definitely my very worst enemy
It kinda triggers a memory, let's bring it back to 83
When I ate a watermelon, swallowed the seeds
Suddenly there was a watermelon growin' in my tummy
I skipped a jump rope, every time I jumped up
I heard a rattle that sounded like a tambourine
I got 28 butts in the ashtray
I gotta pace myself, I'm smokin' like a chimney
Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied
I know you wouldn't put it past me
I really know how to party, reminisce about the day
When I was swiggin' my Bacardi
28 butts in the ashtray â€~cause it's just me
Keepin' myself company
Hey mama, are you proud of me?
I applied for a job at MickeyD's
I gotta do somethin' with my life
Because my idle time is eatin' me
Like I'm a super sized french fry
Drenched in ketchup, fryin' over patch up
But I know I taste better than that
Like they used to taste before they outlawed trans fat
I got 28 butts in the ashtray
I gotta pace myself, I'm smokin' like a chimney
Another bottle of whiskey has been emptied
I know you wouldn't put it past me
I really know how to party, reminisce about the day
When I was swiggin' my Bacardi
28 butts in the ashtray because it's just me
Keepin' myself company
| 1 | Liked You Better Before |
| 2 | I Believe That World Should Revolve Around Me |
| 3 | Go Hard Or Go Home |
| 4 | The Kitchen |
| 5 | One Love |
| 6 | Black Barbie |
| 1 | Rude BoyRihanna |
| 2 | Cooler Than MeMike Posner |
| 3 | PhotographsRihanna |
| 4 | Break Up To Make UpJeremih |
| 5 | Smoke & DriveMike Posner |
| 6 | The Last SongRihanna |
| 7 | Billie JeanMichael Jackson |
| 8 | Trouble NobodyAkon |
| 9 | ImpossibleShontelle |
| 10 | Stupid In LoveRihanna |
| View All | |
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