Kinky Friedman - We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to You Lyrics

While traveling through the Lone Star State
I lost my lunch before I ate
It happened in a pull ahead cafe, Yahoo

I felt my bones begin to crunch
I saw my name on the businessman's lunch
And the neck who owned the place stepped up to say
‽Hey buddy, are you blind? Say, partner, can't you read the sign?”

We reserve the right to refuse service to you
Take your business back to Walgreen's
Have you tried your local zoo?

You smell just like a communist
You come on through just like a Jew
We reserve the right to refuse service to you

Well, I walked on in to my House of God
Congregation on the nod
Just chosen folks are doing their weekly thing
Hear, O Israel, yes indeed

My book was backwards, couldn't read
But I got a good rise when I heard that Rabbi sing
‽Boruch atoh Adonoi
What the hell are you doing back there, boy?”

We reserve the right to refuse services to you
Your friends are all on welfare
You call yourself a Jew ?

You need your ticket and your tie
To zip your prayers on through
We reserve the right to refuse services unto you

Life from Laos and Cambodia
No more tears tonight they showed ya
The latest old war movies on TV
You know it's bound to escalate

So go and turn on channel eight
Watch channel seven border channel three
Well, I won't mind your tanks and jets and jeeps
And speaking on behalf of all my fellow creeps

We reserve the right to refuse service to you
Right, face, forward, move
And get the children, too

Let Saigons be bygones
Don't you blow this world in two
We reserve the right to refuse service to you

Well, it's just my luck that God's a Texan
One big sonbitchin' Anglo-Saxon
Some crazy tall Norwegian bore
Just to help my body shipped air-freight
From Texas to the Pearly Gate

Just ring the bell and leave me at the door
I'll be somewhere over Jordan swinging low
I'll hear them tape-recorded angels in lifelike stereo

We reserve the right to refuse service to you
Take your business back to Walgreen's
Have you tried your local zoo?

Our quota's filled for this year
On singing Texas Jews
We reserve the right to refuse service to you