John Prine - Leave the Lights On Lyrics

Feeling kind of bony
On the telephoney
Talking to Marconi
Eating Rice-a-Roni

Nominated for a Tony
For acting like a phoney
Watching Twilight Zoney
On my forty-two inch Sony

This is just a long song
It ain't no poem
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home

It's like sitting in the kitchen
When the music's really bitchin'
Your nose, it starts to itchin'
As you count your old age pension

Did I forget to mention
The ride that I was hitchin'
To the Aluminum convention
I had such good intention

Keep your cotton pickin' fingers off
My song poem
And leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home

Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home

Don't forget your toothbrush
Your hairbrush and your comb
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home

Got a big ol' dog
A chrome crowbar
I keep that mother humper
In the back seat of my car

Me and Billy Shakespeare
Stepped out to get a root beer
We sat together so near
People thought we were queer

Punctuated by the big scare
We joined the Air Force right there
To defend our country first class
Who couldn't give a rat's ass

Don't you tell me
That the White House is my home
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home

Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home

Don't forget your toothbrush
Your hairbrush and your comb
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home

Got a big ol' dog
A big iron bar
I keep that mother humper
In the back seat of my car

It's like kissing Greta Garbo
With a mouth full of marbles
Like trying to cash a paycheck
In the middle of a train wreck

Leave the lights on
Leave the lights on

Like trying to get around
In a car made of Bondo
Like speaking German lingo
To a dog named Dingo Plotz

Leave the lights on
Leave the lights on

Like a French fried quesadilla
In a franchised pizzeria
Leave the lights on
Leave the lights on

A big iron bar
I keep that mother humper
In the back seat of my car