Jeff Dunham - Roadkill Christmas Lyrics

Got my dog and 6-pack inside my truck
My wife rides in the back because she won't shut up
There's a deer in the headlights and though it might be a sin
I gunned the motor and run over him

It's a Roadkill Christmas
Venison pretenderized
It's a Roadkill Christmas
'Cause they freeze when the lights hit their eyes

She loaded him into the back of the truck
I was driving us home, that's when he done woke up
I couldn't believe what I saw in my rear-view mirror
My wife was a-wrestlin' with a mad deer

It's a Roadkill Christmas
She had fifty pounds over him
It's a Roadkill Christmas
It was no time 'til she had him pinned

By the time we got home, he was her pet
That night, he slept on my side of the bed
I had to spend the night out in my truck
But I had some beer, so I didn't give a... darn

*JEFF: Bubba J, that was close.*
*Bubba J: Yeah I know, I almost said damn.*

A couple days later, I made him a deal
If he worked for me, then he would not be my next meal
I covered his antlers with foil and then,
I plugged the T.V. cable into his rear end

It's a Roadkill Christmas
Every Sunday, he's up on my roof
It's a Roadkill Christmas
I get NASCAR and the NFL, too.

It's a Roadkill Christmas
That dumb deer changed my life
It's a Roadkill Christmas
Next time, I'll run over my wife!