Insane Clown Posse (ICP) - If Lyrics

Insane Clown Posse (ICP)
Miscellaneous
If

Insane Clown Posse (ICP)

If
organism for that matter is entirely and absolutely impossible, however

if i was your tv i'd be like, look at me
if i was shooting star i be like shooooom (peace)
if i was a fat bitches thong i'd be like hell nah
if i was a hotties thong i'd be like ahh
if i was a cuss word i'd just be like, fuck
if i was a rock on the moon i'd be chillin like sup
if i was a butthole i'd just be an exit
if i was the DOC i'd be like "man this is bull shit"
if i was your tires on your car i'd be like (car noises)
if i was the bumper on your car i'd be like ahh fuck
if i was a balloon i'd be like (balloon losing air)
if i was Alyssia Milano i'd be fucking Joe Bruce
if i was a radio DJ i'd probably say, point 103
if i was a richie ass bitch i'd be like, um ok
if i was spin magazine i'd put a mirror on the cover and be like
fuck us and all our readers, even this mother fucker
if i was your mental stress i'd be catching up
if i was your headaches every now and then I'd be like thuuummmp
if i was your tounge i'd be hatin' your teeth i'd be like
ah why do you try to bite me every time we eat?
if i was a chair i'd be like sit here
and if i was kid rock i'd cut my feathered wolf hair
if i was your muffler i'd be like shhh quietly
if i was a price tag i'd be like you ain't buyin me
if i was a fresh DJ i'd be like (scratching record)
if i was jam master jay i'd be like(scratching record)
if i was a cheap clock radio i'd be like (radio static)
if i was barry white i'd be like what up ya'll
if i was a nipple in the cold i'd be like (spring noise)
if i was your dead uncle i'd be like
if i was a rain drop i'd just be like (rain drop)
and i had an axe and your neck i might say Chop

[Chorus]
If i was if i was but i'll never be
(if i was if i was but i'll never be)
If i was if i was but i'll never be
(if i was if i was but i'll never be)
If i was if i was boy your killing me
(if i was if i was boy your killing me)
If i was if i was but i'll never be
(If i was if i was but i'll never be)

If i was a faygo at one of our shows
i'd fly through the air into an ocean of juggalo's
if i was Andre the giant this is how i would be manly
if i was father mc i'd be like yeah what happened
if i was a mirror i'd find another mirror
and look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear
if i was a slider i'd slid out your but, i'd be floating in the toilet
looking at you like what?
if i was a pilot i'd be like air traffic control
if i was john denver i'd be like ahhhh
if i was a switch i'd be like flip me yoohoo
if i was a london cop car i'd be like (siren)
if i was chewbacca i'd get me a fresh ass ?face?
if i was vanilla ice i'd be like fuck yall i'm still paid
if i was a stop sign i'd just be like stop
if i was your wooden leg i'd still be giving you the hip hop

[Chorus 2x]