Half Man Half Biscuit - Corgi Registered Friends Lyrics

In the kingdom of the blind
It’s said the one-eyed man is king
And in the kingdom of the bland
It’s nine o’clock on ITV
I believe I’ve seen holograms
With more substance than you
Automatic doors don’t open for you

C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends)
C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends)
You meet up on a Monday with your
CORGI registered friends

You call Glastonbury “Glasto”
You’d like to go there one day
When they’ve put up the gun towers
To keep the hippies away
December sees Kitzbuehel
Clad in Lowe Alpine
Your children are painfully soulless
Ralph’s in Brize Norton

C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends)
C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends)
You do Del Boy impressions with your
CORGI registered friends

For sale: gym equipment
But now your jeans are too tight
Amanda Burton on autopilot
It’s all you need each night
I wear a tolerance robe
I have the patience of Job
But when I hear your wife’s silly giggling
At Ann Summers parties

C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends)
C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends)
You go to medieval banquets with your
CORGI registered friends

Stick this in your Volvo (glove compartment)
Stick this in your Volvo (glove compartment)
Stick this in your Volvo (glove compartment)
Stick this in your Volvo (glove compartment)