Half Man Half Biscuit - 99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd Lyrics

Jesus Christ come on down!

If you ever wondered how
You get triangles from a cow
You need butter, milk and cheese
And an equilateral chainsaw

In debt I owe someone a fiver
Maybe I should try my hand at drag
James Dean was just a careless driver
And Marilyn Monroe was just a slag

99% of gargoyles look like Bob Todd
99% of gargoyles look like Bob Todd
99% of gargoyles look like Bob Todd
99% of gargoyles look like Bob Todd

Mary had a little lamb
The doctors were astounded
Everywhere she went
Gynaecologists surrounded

They’ve been cooking on Blue Peter
Now they’re sampling the dishes
“I don’t normally like tomatoes, John
But this is delicious”

99% of gargoyles look like Bob Todd
99% of gargoyles look like Bob Todd
99% of gargoyles look like Bob Todd
99% of gargoyles look like Bob Todd (take me home)

The son of Jimmy Clitheroe is shouting out:
“Where’s my Fiorucci?”

Now the Krona rumour spread but they didn’t tell the bread
Did you honestly think that they would?
And if eight out of ten cats all prefer Whiskas
Do the other two prefer Lesley Judd?

99% of gargoyles look like Bob Todd
99% of gargoyles look like Bob Todd
99% of gargoyles look like Bob Todd
99% of gargoyles look like Bob Todd