Gwar - Jiggle The Handle Lyrics

Gwar, I bring forth the portal potty
Coming to feed on the shit from your bodies
Your turds have more power than mere human feces
Let's use it's great power to recover the pieces

Hey, hey jackass, yeah you
You got to love me so good
Yeah, yeah, you can depend on me
Depending on, if my water's on

If my pipe's unlogged
Ahh, if you're water-logged, baby
I am the hole I am your toilet bowl I'll suck your soul
Just pay, just pay my shitty toll, ahh

Coated in shit I give all you desire
Mystical doorway swimming in mire
We'll use the plunger if blockage won't budge
It's a door through the plane of fudge

So many times I have found you
Still I always piss on the ground
Now that I can use you
I'm gonna stop fucking around

If you need shit then I got shit
On that you can depend I'll pump your stump
You fuckin' hump, my crappy, crap-caked friend

The Portal Potty, a gift from the Gods
Let's pay it tribute and bury our wads
I think we know what it's all about
Jiggle the handle and watch something jump out

I am a woman and I have my needs.
You can never really know just where or when I'll bleed
You need my egg, I need your seed
But pray at the altar, the toilet must feed

Yeah, I'll bring ya some suckers for a killing spree
Just keep that fucking tampon away from me

Take in this world, it's so beautiful
Filthy humans, you're all so full of it
That which you can't stand you can't understand
Speak the mystic words and bring forth
A turd you turn around into it and turn over to me

Cross the river, leave the abyss
Give the seat of the toilet a kiss
Each Virgin sacrifice speaks these magic words
Well, jiggle the handle, and call forth a turd

Yeah, here it comes, baby, I'm dropping my load
I'm ain't just on it, I am the commode, ahh

The power of the toilet must never be abused
He must be plunged, he must be sponged
Or carnage could ensue if a dead sheep had clogged him
Who knows what could arrive maybe it will bring
The Master here, wouldn't that be a surprise?