Bette Midler - Soph Lyrics

I was in the woods last night with my boyfriend Ernie
And he said to me, "Soph"
He always called me Soph
He said to me, "Soph, these woods sure are dark
I sure wish I had a flash light", I said to him, "So do I, Ernie
You have been munching grass for the last ten minutes"

I will never forget it, it was on the occasion of Ernie's eightieth birthday
And in honor of the occasion, he married a twenty year old girl
And he rang me up the very next day and he said to me, "Soph, Soph
I have just married myself a twenty year old girl, what do you think of that?"

And I said to him, "Ernie, when I am eighty years old
I shall marry myself a twenty year old boy
And let me tell you something
Ernie, twenty goes into eighty a hell of a lot more
Than eighty goes into twenty"

I was in bed last night with my boyfriend Ernie
And he said to me, "Soph, you got no tits and a tight box"
I said to him, "Ernie, get off my back"