Bernstein Leonard - Pass The Football Lyrics

Bernstein Leonard
Wonderful Town
Pass The Football
Betty Comden and Adolph Green
music by Leonard Bernstein

LOOK AT ME NOW,
FOUR YEARS OF COLLEGE,
FAMOUS PROFESSORS
TUTORING ME;

SCHOLARSHIP KID,
EVERYTHING PAID FOR,
FOOD AND VACATIONS,
ALL OF IT FREE.

DAY THAT I LEFT,
EVERYONE GATHERED,
THEIR CHEERING STILL RINGS IN MY EARS . . .

RAY WRECK RAH!
RAH WRECK RAY!
RAH WRECK!
WRECK RAH!
RAH WRECK WRECK!
W-E-C, R-E-K, R-E-Q,
WRECK, WE LOVE YOU!

’CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN’ YOU HAVE EVER SEEN!

COULDN’T SPELL A LICK,
COULDN’T DO ARITHMETIC;
ONE AND ONE MADE THREE,
THOUGHT THAT DOG WAS C-A-T,

BUT I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN’ YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.

COULDN’T WRITE MY NAME,
COULDN’T TRANSLATE “JE VOUS AIME”,
NEVER LEARNED TO READ
MOTHER GOOSE OR ANDRÉ GIDE,

BUT I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN’ YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.

COULDN’T FIGURE RIDDLES,
PUZZLES MADE ME POUT:

WHERE THE HELL WAS MOSES WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT?
I COULDN’T EVEN TELL RED FROM GREEN,
GET THOSE VERBS THROUGH MY BEAN,
BUT I WAS BUDDIES WITH THE DEAN
LIKE NOTHIN’ YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.

PASSED WITHOUT A FUSS
ENGLISH LIT AND CALCULUS.
NEVER HAD TO CRAM,
EVEN PASSED THE BAR EXAM,

BECAUSE I PASSED THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN’ YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.

COULDN’T DANCE FOR BEANS,
MASHED MY GIRLS TO SMITHEREENS.
SOMETIMES BLOOD WAS SPILLED,
STILL MY CARD WAS ALWAYS FILLED,

’CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN’ YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.


THEN THERE WAS THE WEEK
ALBERT EINSTEIN CAME TO SPEAK:
RELATIVITY!
GUESS WHO INTRODUCED HIM? ME!

’CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN’ YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.

HAD NO TABLE MANNERS,
USED TA DUNK MY ROLL,
ALWAYS DRUNK THE WATER FROM THE FINGERBOWL.
THOUGH I WOULD NOT GET UP FOR ANY SHE,
THE PREXY’S MOM -- AGE NINETY-THREE --
GOT UP AND GAVE HER SEAT TO ME,
LIKE NOTHIN’ YOU DID EVER SEE.

IN OUR HALL OF FAME,
THERE’S A STATUE WITH MY NAME.
THERE WE STAND, BY HECK,
LINCOLN, WASHINGTON AND WRECK.
’CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN’ YOU HAVE EVER SEEN!