Barenaked Ladies - These Apples Lyrics

A friend brought me flowers, she said they were lilacs
But I've never been good with plants
Her next presentation a new dictionary
She'd circled the word romance
So enthusiastic a little bit drastic
I shaved her name in my head
And as she beheld it, she said I misspelled it
Need more be said

"These apples are delicious
As a matter of fact they are", she said
"Can all this fruit be free?"

She wrote me a letter as big as a phone book
I've never been big on mail
I sent her a postcard from somewhere near Lethebridge
And wondered if it still went by rail
I've never been frightened of being enlightened
But some things go too far, too far, too far
Sometimes I stammer and mix up my grammar
You get what my meanings are

"These apples are delicious
As a matter of fact they are", she said
"Can all this fruit be free, free?"

I'm not trying to sing a love song
I'm trying to sing in tune
I know I am sometimes headstrong
Falling in love, catching fire
I want to be consumed
Wondering will I ever tire
Will I ever tire, will I ever tire?

"These apples are delicious
As a matter of fact they are", she said
"Can all this fruit be free?"