Andrew Lloyd Webber - The Ad-Dressing of Cats Lyrics

You've heard of several kinds of cat and my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter to understand our character
You've learned enough to take the view that cats are very much like you
You've seen us both at work and games and learnt about our proper names
Our habits and habitat but how would you ad-dress a cat

So first, your memory I'll jog and say a cat is not a dog
So first, your memory I'll jog and say a cat is not a dog
With cats, some say, one rule is true don't speak 'til you are spoken to
Myself I do not hold with that I say, you should ad-dress a cat

But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity
You bow, and taking off your hat, ad-dress him in this form oh cat!
Before a cat will condescend to treat you as a trusted friend
Some little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of cream
And you might now and then supply some caviar or straussburg pie

Some potted grouse or salmon paste he's sure to have his personal taste
And so in time you reach your aim and call him by his name
A cat's entitled to expect these evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that and there's how you ad-dress a cat
A cat's entitled to expect these evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that and there's how you ad-dress a cat