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- Songwriters: Busch Lou, Allan Sherman
Seltzer boy
Where are you hiding?
If you don't come right now
I'm gon' tell you boss on you
Oy
Don't bring me water
I rather have seltzer
'Cause water don't bubble
And water don't fizz
Water I hate it
'Cause it ain't carbonated
But a glass of seltzer
On the other hand is
Don't bring me Pepsi
Don't bring me a Kool-Aid
Don't bring a malted
And don't bring me champagne
I'll tell you what, boy
Bring me one scotch and soda
Then you'll take back the scotch, boy
And leave the 2 cents plain
Seltzer boy
When are you coming?
If don't bring that seltzer
I'm gon' tell Mister Meltzer on you
Seltzer boy
That's better, could you put in
A little chocolate sauce?
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